tough love

tough love. it’s a term that was so overused that it seems a little silly today but sometimes, you’ve got no choice but to give people tough love. sometimes, you gotta cut out all the bullshit, stop worrying about how a person will feel or if they’ll get hurt, and just get real and tell it like it is. people will call you a bitch, a bad friend, and god knows what else but let them. as long as you own your words and actions, you never have to apologize for telling people the honest truth as you see it.

we all have had that one friend, that one person who no matter what you tell them, how hard you try to uplift them, no matter the advice or the support you provide them, nothing reaches them. days turn to months turn to years and their situation never improves and they still have the same excuses.

at some point, you have to say enough is enough and stop spending your precious energy on them. you just have to stop!

when you do, they’ll call you a bad friend for abandoning them and completely forget all the times you were there to help them pick up the pieces. still stop.

don’t let proving yourself keep you in a lose lose situation. no friendship is worth that amount of stress.

rest assured in the fact that you tried and that you left when you knew there was nothing else you could do.

know that even in walking away, you are being a good friend because a good friend knows when to tell a friend, enough is enough.

a bad friend will never tell you a thing to steer you in the right direction and a bad friend will try their hardest to convince you that you’re doing swell when you’re absolutely not.

so walk away if you must but do it with your head held high, not so much out of pride but because you have nothing to be ashamed of.


Mighty Quinn’s and Old Boy (Spike Lee remake)

so last night, I was free of baby duty seeing as she is with her other grandma. her father invited me out to the movies and I took him to this really awesome restaurant. it’s actually kind of cool to be able to chill with him every so often as friends. definitely reminds me of why we aren’t together. don’t get me wrong, he was on his best behavior but we truly are polar opposites and I don’t know what I saw in him anymore. anyway, this post isn’t about us, it’s about where we went to eat and the movie.

first, the restaurant.

Mighty Quinn’s is located on the corner of 2nd Avenue & 6th Street. this place’s specialty is smoked pork and beef brisket. they have signature sides and good beer on tap. the decor is rustic in an industrial sort of way and the music is usually off the charts, punk rock, Bob Dylan, Simon & Garfunkel. the staff is super nice and they seem happy to be there and it doesn’t even come off as an act. the place even has immaculate sweet smelling restrooms.

the food! the pulled pork is seasoned to perfection. the brisket is so soft you could cut it with a spoon like a warm knife through butter. the sweet potato casserole is my favorite side but the baked beans and pork, I’m told, is the best you’ll ever have. they have two different types of slaw and a broccoli salad that is incredible. so far I’ve been there three times, each time I went was with someone who had never been there before. my friend Jimmy, who is a big dude- scary even- said it was like eating heaven and said it was the best piece of meat he ever had in his mouth… (that’s what she said). my kid’s dad originally wanted to go to a ramen spot because he knows that lately I’ve been craving ramen but I told him that the food at Mighty Quinn’s was good enough to make you slap your mother and he said he was down to try it out. when we were sat eating, he was totally all “What About Bob” dinner scene while eating. he’s actually never seen that movie and prior to meeting up, when we were deciding where to go, I told him about this place and sent him the YouTube link to that scene saying that that would be his reaction to the food. the funny thing is, as he started eating, he’s starts “what about Bob-ing” while eating and then stops, looks at me wide eyed and says, “oh my god, you were right. I didn’t even realize what I was doing. I just caught myself doing it. wow!” so as we sat, joking and eating and enjoying the atmosphere and company, he kept exclaiming how good the food was as we devoured our grub and then cleared our table to leave. I asked him, “so, still wish we’d have gone for ramen?” and his response was “I REGRET NOTHING!” as his closed fist shot into the air in triumph. I cracked up. so far, everyone I’ve taken there loves the food, decor, and music. it’s a pretty impressive place. so if you’re ever in the Lower East Side of Manhattan, near St. Marks Place, check it out.

and now to the movie.

all I have to say is this:

1. I will never go see another Spike Lee movie again.

2. I wish I could unsee that movie.

3. he should have never tried to remake a movie that was perfect as it was.

4. Josh Brolin. I’m sorry dude but your leading role debut was awful. please don’t ever try to cry or show emotion again. keep playing goons and supporting roles. you’re no leading man.

that’s it. I’ve already said more than I should have. if you’ve never seen the original movie, please see it and please NEVER see this version. it was awful. truly awful.