so in an effort to gain insight from as many possible avenues, I spoke to my young friend Melissa last night about my situation at work. she’s only 26 but the girl is extremely smart and she’s a really good friend she told me to not say anything. she said, ” saying anything at all, no matter what you say, is wrong. even apologizing is wrong because you did nothing wrong.” she went on to say that she had encountered similar situations and dealt with each differently. she went one by one describing the instances, in the worst she tossed a hot cup of coffee on her boss for being a jerk, and in another she simply took the high road and did what she told me to do. of all the situations she described, the one with the best outcome is the one where she did nothing. she didn’t know it at the time, but her doing nothing was actually something! she accepted what she had no control over and in doing so, she let go of the ill feeling it gave her, and was at peace. in the first situation, her reaction caused discord and since the ego thrives on discord it was ego driven act.
I don’t want to be ego driven!
so, I’m going to listen to her. I’m not going to say anything. I will stay silent and in my silence, I am making a statement. by not saying anything, I manage to stay on my wavelength. if I say what I said I would say, that’s coming from an egoic place. I don’t need to inform her of her unconsciousness. let her be, that’s what I’ll do. I don’t need to apologize for confusing her with someone who was awake. this is my mistake and my problem, just like her taking offense and speaking ill of me is her problem. just like I should not concern myself with how she feels about me, I should not concern her with how I feel about her.
after speaking at length about this situation with a friend who not only loves me but respects me and who also comes to me when she needs advice or a listening ear, I unburdened myself some and got a clearer perspective of the whole situation. sometimes that’s all you need. is someone outside of the situation to shed light on it.
so since I now know what I am going to do, which is nothing, I am at peace with the situation and it is no longer a pressing matter. should she come to talk to me at any time in the future, I will simply smile and reply. I will not tell her how she made me feel nor will I entertain any conversation of a confrontational nature. should she try to broach the subject, I will simply put my hand up in a halting gesture and say, “please, don’t bring me down. I’m at peace.” and end the conversation. I have no need to hash anything out with her for her benefit because from this moment forward, it is a nonissue for me. should she choose to hold onto it, that’s her burden.
I am free of it.