time obsessed vs consciousness

Eckhart Tolle says that humans are time obsessed beings. we create our identities from our past and place all good things in our future which causes our present lives to be sad and full of turmoil. he says it’s best to let go of the past so that it doesn’t define you and to stop placing the good in our lives in front of us because we will never reach the future. all we have is NOW so we need to acknowledge it, respect and honor it, because when we do that, we open ourselves up to all of the blessings the universe has to offer.

while it is some of the best advice I have ever come across, putting it into practice can be difficult at times because the past has a funny way of coming back to haunt you.

as we grow and live we come across people and situations that we label good or bad. sometimes people and situations that we label good become bad, or bad becomes good. a lot of times, we don’t recognize the change until it has hits us dead in the face because we often times go through life with blinders on and we don’t pick up on the signs that the universe drops in our path to wake us up. we’re so caught up with living that we don’t compute things as they come but instead wait until all the numbers are dropped so we can add them all up. and when things don’t add up it leaves us looking for answers and confused. sometimes it even leads to bitterness, anger or regret.

when this happens, we are not present. we’ve allowed outside influences to affect us internally and take our presence away. it isn’t easy to stay present all the time. we can try but there will always be something or someone capable of bringing you out of the present and crashing back to the past or flinging us into the unknown future. this isn’t our fault. we’ve been conditioned into this M.O. by our parents, friends, education system, the economy, television, the news, etc. we don’t even know we do this until someone points it out, usually it’s someone more conscious than you that does it.

I first came across a “pointer” shortly before leaving my daughter’s father for last time. our relationship was horrible, very seldom was it good and I suffered a great deal through it. I came across a very popular book which had been suggested to me many times before but which I discounted as new age mumbo jumbo. I am not the type to buy into hype so I never read the book. then in the months surrounding the break up I came across the title while searching for a new book via my Nook E-reader.

the book’s name is The Secret.

I know I know. how hokey? right? well, despite this, I read the book and I felt an automatic shift in my consciousness. I did some of the things the book suggested. in it, it says to write down what you want and to forget about the note. put it away and don’t look at it again. so I did. I wrote many many notes. on one I wrote, “universe, remove ‘A’ from my life in any way you deem fit” and on another I wrote “universe, please allow me to acquire a better paying job” and so on and so forth. my bedroom wall had post it’s stuck to it with all kinds of messages. “2013 is YOUR year” one read or “it is only when you’ve lost everything that you are free to do anything.”

this was last year towards the end of February. the following months were really tough. the relationship ended badly and he took me to court to take our daughter from me. I was not going to take it lying down and I looked for help and got it. I fought back hard and I won, thankfully. and then, last November I received a letter with a job offer to work for the state. I took the job and am making more money now.

it’s a year later and I sit on my train going home and I marvel at how reading that one book catapulted my life in the exact direction I wanted. I remember cleaning out my desk at my old job and finding the note about removing my daughter’s father from my life. the universe responded. I also found the note about a better job and thought “wow! this really works!” this past year, almost two years, has proven to me that this really works!

when I first came across Eckhart Tolle it was via a picture with a quote of his. I thought “How cool! I love it!” and then a week later while working my field, I passed a book seller who had both of his books for sale. I took it as a sign. I’d never heard of him until the week prior and here I was buying his books. I read them like I do all the books I read, totally engrossed. like with The Secret, his words resounded inside of me. it has further awakened me to my elevated consciousness.

I’m not perfect. I’m not meant to be. I will fail and I will succeed. it is what it is but now I know how better to deal with these things. I don’t let my ego control me anymore, or at least, it isn’t always in control of me. sometimes I still fail but that’s normal and I won’t knock myself for it. like with anything, riding a bike for instance, it requires patience and practice. if you want to ride a bike, be prepared to fall from it a few times, you may even get hurt. but you don’t give up. you climb back on it and you find your balance and you pedal like hell was chasing you and before long it becomes second nature. that’s how this works. being conscious and staying conscious takes practice and patience. there will be times you fail, times where your conditioned time obsession forces you into the past or future but the key is to notice this when it happens and to regulate it so that it happens less and less until eventually it becomes second nature.

I hope to one day be completely free of my ego and to control my emotions from a place of presence at all times. I am certain that day will come and is just around the bend.

but wait, isn’t that part of my conditioning? placing my awakened self in my future?

it is. there. you see what we do right there. placing good things ahead of us.

so let me rephrase that.

right now, at this moment, I am conscious.

right now, I am aware.

this is all that really matters.

I’m out.

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