Suicide Attempt Thwarted By a Very PRESENT and Humble Man

Suicide Attempt Thwarted By a Very PRESENT and Humble Man

When I get to work in the morning, I’ll open up my web browser and it opens to the MSN website. I will scan the links to articles and click the ones that stand out to me. The one in this post really got me. Please read the article. 



Response to the Liebster. Thanks Don Charisma!

I’m always surprised when ppl read my blog, comment or like it. I don’t really promote my blog so I always wonder how they find me. well, a blogger who goes by Don Charisma awarded me with a “Leibster” which entails that I should answer the following questions about myself and my blog. so in gratitude for reading, I’m going to answer the questions. I’m supposed to award the blogs I read with the same thing so they can follow suit. that’s gonna be tough. I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t been reading any other blogs. I’ll send this to the ones I used to read back when I started this thing and had more time. so here goes:

first, here’s a link to Don’s Liebster:

1) What would you do if you could do anything and you knew you couldn’t fail?

this is a tough question simply because we tend to shy away from failure. there are a ton of things we don’t even attempt due to fear of failure. that said, these things are often not thought of until presented with a question such as this one. one thing I’ve done but haven’t done in a long while is perform poetry. I used to be an avid poet, one who never missed an opportunity to get behind the mic. during and after college, I put the pen down and haven’t really done much of that at all. in fact, I’ve only done it once or twice since then. if I could, I’d like to get back into it and perhaps join a National Poetry Convention Slam Team. even if we didn’t win, I’d still love to do that. I wouldn’t consider not winning failure. I would consider never trying failing.

2) Three reasons why is better than Facebook?

I hate Facebook. hate is a strong word. I dislike it strongly. I haven’t used it in years. WordPress and my instagram account are the only social networking sites I use. I like to call myself the “antisocial social networker” because I don’t promote my online activities. I mostly do them for myself and my own pleasure. if someone likes what I do, I’m grateful.

3) Who is (or was) the most influential person in your life?

as strange as this may sound, the most influential person in my life is my daughter. she’s only three but she means the world to me and is my driving force. I strive to be someone she will look up to and be proud of so it is of the utmost importance that I continue to work towards self improvement and enlightenment so that I may lead her by example and show her that no matter what adversity enters your life, there is always a reason to smile and be grateful.

4) What’s your favourite thing to post about on your blog?

positivity. my life was a seething ball of negativity for many years. I came to this realization a while back and have worked towards changing that. I feel I’ve accomplished it for the most part. I do a lot of reading so when I read something that inspires me, I try to share that inspiration with the aim of pointing others in that same positive direction.

5) How do you best handle heated/angry situations?

I used to get really upset and fight back but recently I learned that the driving force behind that type of a reaction is the self preservation of ego. I don’t want to be an ego driven person so now I handle these types of situations differently. I step back, I take in the entire picture, I breath deeply and address it from a place of presence. I don’t fan the flames by arguing or getting heated. I stay calm, and open minded. many people get up at arms over the littlest things. this adds undue stress and anguish to our lives. there’s no need to add more of that to our already tumultuous yet beautiful lives. it’s best to remind yourself in these moments that these are simply moments and all moments pass. allow it to pass without resistance and you’ll move into the next moment of life without adding more emotional or psychological baggage to your spirit.

6) What is the most inspiring thing you’ve ever read, heard, or seen, and how has it helped you on your life’s journey?

well, most recently I came across two books by Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now and A New Earth, that have really influenced my thinking. it’s where I learned about ego driven lives in simplest terms and realized that I had been living my life in that way and have made a conscious effort to change that. so far so good.

7) What do you think are the three qualities to building and maintaining good friendships/relationships?

I’ve had a lot of failure in this department of my life. failing often teaches, as it should, what not to do in these types of situations as well as others. one of the things I often did was place the people I love up on pedestals. sadly, they would come tumbling down from there for one reason or another, perhaps they prove themselves to not be as great as I considered them-whatever. when this would happen, I would feel intense pain and loss and anger even. I’ve learned not to do this anymore. never place expectations on others. when you do that, they often fail but when you don’t, they may just rise above any expectation you may have otherwise created. also, I realize now that most people live in a mad world of their own creation and don’t even know it. this will make people behave in all kinds of ways that could really rub you the wrong way. knowing this, not only about them but about myself, allows me to be more accepting of what we will call people’s “flaws.” that doesn’t mean I’m a doormat, it just means I’m less likely to hold anything against someone because I understand that their inner demon, their ego, is at the helm of their lives. as Jesus said up on the cross, “Forgive them, for they know not what they do.” forgiveness implies acceptance and acceptance is liberating. so #1, expect nothing; #2, forgive people and #3, accept people. these three things for me will garner beautiful honest and caring relationships.

8) How did you pick your blog’s name?

it’s my name. it’s what my friends and family call me.

9) What is your favourite book/author, or film(movie)/director, or play/play-write, or song/band, or symphony/composer and why?

I’m an avid reader so it’s hard to choose a favorite book/author so I’ll give you two: One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez and The Chronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis. my favorite play is The Merchant of Venice by Shakespeare. my favorite song is Na Na Nothing by my favorite musician Mike Doughty. why? well, in regards to the books, both of these authors were amazing story tellers. they were both capable of immersing you in whatever world they were spinning. both no longer write. one, Lewis, has passed on and the former, Marquez, sadly, has succumb to Alzheimer’s and doesn’t remember having written any of his books or even having won the Nobel Prize for the book mentioned above. it’s sad really but his beautiful mind lives on in his books. in regards to the play, I mean come on, it’s Shakespeare. more than that, The Merchant of Venice tells an amazing story. I have always been partial to Shylock. I felt he got a raw deal. he was a product of his environment, one that mistreated him greatly and turned him into who he was. he acted out as he felt was appropriate due to how he was treated. he made a deal and was swindled out if it and his money by made up rules that went in favor of his tormentors. I disliked Porsha for doing what she did. he deserved to get what he bargained for in my humble opinion. and the song. last year I was going through a lot of turmoil. too much to go into right here however, this song, Na Na Nothing, became my anthem. it helped me to stick firm in my resolve, it kept me from stutter stepping, from going backwards in my life. it affirmed to me that I was making the right decisions and to ride the course out to the end. it helped me to feel victorious even before my battle had come close to ending and when it did and I was, it became my victory song.

10) What’s your favourite recipe you make?

I don’t have a favorite recipe but I enjoy cooking very much so I’m always trying new recipes. if I had to narrow it down, I thoroughly enjoy my baked Mac-n-Cheese recipe and I also have a stew I make with a broth made with Guinness that will make you slap your mama, that’s how good it is. I haven’t made it in a while and writing this here makes me want to. looks like I’ll be hitting up the grocery store for ingredients later.


The First Show of The Tour

so I went to another Mike Doughty show on the 16th of October. first, I’d like to say, Mike has come full circle from where he was in the 90s. where these songs were awesome when they were put together back then, they also were imbued with a sadness and frustration that wasn’t truly evident until hearing these songs redone today. Mike has come a long way and his reimagined Soul Coughing songs prove this. back then, as he detailed in his memoir, he was in a state of turmoil and suffering. the discord between him and his band mates and the feeling of being taken advantage of, was underlying the magic in the music. he hated that period of his life even though he fought hard to get there. for years, after the dissolution of the band, Mike wouldn’t even strum the rhythm of one of those songs by accident. fans would come to shows and shout requests for Soul Coughing songs only to be met with ire and statements like “I don’t play those songs any more!” I imagine some fans were so disgruntled by that response that they left those shows and never came back to another Mike Doughty show again. but then there are the true die hard fans, the ones who didn’t care and loved him anyway. the ones who devoured every outpouring of emotion in every chord and lyric of his solo career. we, the die hards, waited patiently. we knew this day would come. when he wrote his memoir, it stirred up all those negative emotions and something inside of him-or perhaps outside of him- shouted, “YOU WANT TO CHANGE THE WAY THESE SONGS FEEL! RE-RECORD THEM NOW!!!” and so, he created a pledge music page and asked his fans for help and of course, we did, one dollar at a time, we donated to the cause and the end result is now available in iTunes and record stores throughout the country. for those of us who dug deep into our pockets for cash to fund the album, he rewarded us in different ways. I got my name in the credits of the album and others got to do really cool things like smash one of his guitars on stage. for us, the treasure is the songs! when you hear them you feel it! the sadness is gone and it is replaced with JOY! one of the things Mike hated was the sampling. it was never quite what he wanted. today, he is on the sampler and it isn’t work, he’s playing. his glee is evident with every tweak of a knob, every push of a button. so as I stood there, surrounded by other die hards, we all danced and sung along and marveled at the madness! the rebirth of the magic! it was emotional and exhilarating. I remember looking down at my hands and seeing them tremble and I realized, “I’m shaking! his energy is make me shake!” and so I am honored and overjoyed to share these few pics I snapped at the show. enjoy.







criticism: a blight on our world perpetuated by self hate!

when we criticize others, we do so because it makes us feel superior to them. we may not realize that that is why, but it is. when we see someone and think/say “look at them with their …” what we are truly saying is “I’m better than you because …”

while it is good to hold yourself in high esteem, it isn’t good to down on others in order to feel good about yourself. so before you jump into criticism, stop and ask yourself why. are you doing this to better that person or to place yourself above them. there’s a difference between constructive criticism and ego-building criticism. think about this a minute.

when we criticize people what we are really doing is separating ourselves from that person. you’re saying, “we’re different,” and the criticism points out why. we are creating a divide between ourselves and others via our criticism. we are not alike, that’s what criticism is saying when in reality, nothing could be further from the truth.

we all have so much in common that if we focused on that instead of how we differ, we’d be amazed. for instance, we all have good qualities, we all have worries and stress, we all have family and friends who count on us, we all have responsibilities that must be met, etc. none of us are spared the everyday dealings that make up our distinct life situations. we all have a reason to get out of bed in the morning. maybe it’s a job, or your kids, or a pet that needs walking. whatever it is, we all have them. so you see, we are all very alike.

one of the first things people criticize is appearance. before a person has even spoken, others are making snap judgements about them based solely on their appearance. perhaps, it’s their attire or tattoos or maybe it’s their complexion or skin color or weight. when we criticize others based solely on their appearance, we forget the fact that none of us are how we appear on the outside. we, are much more than how we appear on the outside. our souls, our life energy, is more than the shell that carries it. we are huge, we are light, we are love, and our outsides are simply the vehicles for our greatness.

so criticizing someone based on their appearance is actually quite pointless because often times, if you give a person a chance and get to know them, you’ll find that your original opinion differs greatly from who they really are. you might even feel bad about the snap judgement when you’re proven wrong.

this isn’t to say that all people are good. I think all people are capable of being good or bad but a person’s appearance is a terrible indicator of whether a person is or isn’t good. I’ve met people who on the outside seem good, and they put on a great show but then this same person turns out to be a thief or a gossip or a backstabber. their appearance fooled me. I’ve met other people who looked bad and who I would’ve steered clear of yet they turn out to be good people, always looking to lend a hand and help their fellow man. appearance is a horrible way to gauge a persons inner self and it is the inner self that is the most honest depiction of a person, never the outer self.

we find reasons to criticize others and what we fail to realize is that often times what we find so off putting in someone else, is usually something we possess ourselves. when we point out someone else’s perceived flaws, what we’re really doing is pointing out our own flaws. of course, we don’t see it that way. sadly most people never see their own flaws. most people think that there is nothing wrong with them but actually, there is probably more wrong with them than the person who they are criticizing. more than likely, what they don’t like about someone else are the same things they don’t like about themselves, if only they could be honest with themselves, they would realize this and the criticism would stop.

when we look in the mirror, and see ourselves, we either like what we see or we don’t but all we see is the surface self. a mirror can never reveal to us who we really are. yet, despite knowing this, we still look at others and make snap judgements or criticize. we know our outward appearance isn’t really us and yet we still view other’s outward appearance as them. they are not how they appear. absolutely not. they are more just as we are more and we diminish ourselves and the world by continuing to see people as their outsides and judging them. we do ourselves and the world an injustice by continuing to be judgmental and critical. until we stop, we’ll never truly know love or happiness.

we will never truly know acceptance.

and that is really what this boils down to. ACCEPTANCE. when we learn to accept people for who they are, we learn to love. when we learn to accept people, we become happy. more importantly, when you learn to accept your SELF, you have no need to criticize others because you don’t need to make yourself feel superior to them. you know who you are and accept yourself so you don’t need to make yourself feel good by knocking someone else down. only those who are truly unhappy with themselves will find pleasure in hurting others. once you are happy with yourself and accept yourself as you are, you’ll stop finding pleasure in criticizing or judging others. once you are happy with yourself and accept yourself, the criticism directed towards you from others simply rolls off of you like water off of a duck’s back. it doesn’t affect you negatively. in fact, you are able to hear the criticism and examine it objectively to see if their is my truth to it. if there is and you see it, you make moves to change yourself for the better. if their isn’t any truth you to it, you can discard it and don’t need to dwell on it, relive it, and become bitter by it.

criticism is a two way street. obviously, if you can dish it out, you oughta be able to consume a healthy portion of it, right? wrong. unless the criticism is constructive, that is to say that it is issued with the aim of making you better, than all criticism is poison and when you consume it in great dosages, it kills the trueness of your being. no one wants this. no one wants to be murdered. and no sane person wants to kill anyone else. so keep this in mind when you fix your mouth to criticize someone. you are killing them. you are a killer. stop.

Eckhart Tolle worded this best on page 159 of A New Earth. “It is always the case that both victim and perpetrator suffer the consequences of any acts of violence, oppression, or brutality. For what you do unto others, you do to yourself.”

in order to make this world a better place, the place to start is within yourself. bring to the forefront, your inner self. this is the truest part of you. it isn’t even “a part” of you. it IS YOU! let’s it come forward, let it announce to the world that you are here! it is through your very presence in the world that you exact positive change. you lead by example. so when you feel the urge to criticize someone, don’t. and when you witness someone criticizing someone, politely and firmly, stop them. little by little, you will see a change around you and like a pebble into a still pond, the ripples will go on forever outward and then return to you.