so I’m not in the greatest mood this morning. seasonal allergies are killing me. I have such a headache from congestion that I really would have preferred to stay in bed today. then my express train decided it would switch to the local track and everyone got off thinking the next express train would go express. it arrives and it too is going local so I should have stayed on the first train because now I’m doubly delayed. probably going to be about fifteen minutes late to work now. aggravated.


I know what this is. this is life. it will always present you with obstacles and how you deal or cope with them will determine how grounded in truth and how enlightened you are.

knowing this, I also know my frequency is not what it should be right now. somehow, it is not as elevated as I’d like it to be. external factors have dimmed it or rather, I have allowed external factors to dim it. so let’s see if I can’t raise it back to wear it should be by the time I get to work.

what do I have to be upset about? that I’m going to be late to work? well it’s not my fault. I have no control over the MTA and what they do so why be upset over something I can do nothing to change? so I’m done being upset about it in 3…2…1…DONE.

I’ll do a delay verification request as soon as I get to my desk and when I get it, I’ll show my bosses so I won’t have to charge my personal time or mark my time as tardy. problem solved!

allergies messing with me? well there’s nothing I can do about that either. it’s biology. I took a Claritin this morning and yesterday and they help a little but this is simply an annoyance I’ll have to deal with because it’s not something I can magically snap my fingers and make go away. eventually, when fall turns into winter, whatever it is that is in the air kicking my ass will dissipate and I won’t have to feel like a leaky snot faucet again until spring! hooray for seasonal allergies! done being upset about that in 3…2…1… DONE!

ok. so now what??? oh…there’s nothing??? ggggrrrrrrrreeeaaaatttt! that’s what it is and this is actually quite simple. I don’t quite yet feel like my frequency has been raised but it will happen and is happening. I bet by the time I make it to work and press post on this entry I will feel like a million bucks. a million bucks with head congestion but still, a million bucks is a million bucks!!!

so this is a trick. when you feel off kilter, make a mental check list of what you believe to be the cause or causes of your immediate demeanor or frequency. as you go down the list, analyze the issues and dismantle them. when you get to the last item on the list, you’ll feel better because you’ll have realized that usually what had you feeling crappy was minor or unimportant.

you see, my wonderful public transportation system is unreliable. you’d think in a city like mine, where so many people depend on it, that it would be better but it’s not. just a few months back, my start time at work was 8am but I changed it to 8:30am because the trains would get all crazy on me and I’d get to work late. I still leave my house at the same time I did when I started at 8am but I get there around 8:20am on a good day. it is what it is. I used to get really mad. I’d spend the entire time looking at the clock or my phone, estimating how late I would be, willing the train to move faster, but it wouldn’t. I’d get to work so upset and this would set my mood for the rest of the day. as you saw already, I’m working on this whole frequency thing so that what I just described isn’t the case today.

I’ve learned that certain things require one thing and one thing only.


that is all. accept that which you have no control over and move beyond whatever feeling it provokes in you. feel the feeling and accept it but don’t dwell in it, especially if it is a negative feeling like aggravation or annoyance. feel the feeling but don’t let the feeling become you. once you’ve done that, you’ve given the mind the reigns and it will be at the helm of your life energy for however long you let it.

so I actually feel much better. not physically because my allergies are the wackness but at least my mood is better. I’ve accepted the circumstance and am passed it. my frequency has already been elevated and I’m not even at my stop yet. it’s ten minutes until my start time and I’m about fifteen minutes away but that’s cool. I’m not worried about it. I’m good at my job and my bosses appreciate my work so it’s not like I’m scared about getting fired or bitched at. I’m good.

so this has been a practice session for me and an example session for you. you see what I’ve done here and you can tell from the start to the end of this post that my frequency was low and now it’s high. you’ve witnessed just by reading this how easy it is to get back to where you want to be emotionally and spiritually even when it seems that everything is working against you. remember, it only seems like that because in all actuality, the Universe is ALWAYS WORKING IN YOUR FAVOR.



the power of a smile

when I was a kid, I read a poem by Barbara Hauck about a smile. she was 13 when she wrote and it just goes to show, you don’t have to be old or mature or have a degree in literature or social sciences or whatever to posses wisdom. this little girl surely did.

the poem follows:

“She smiled at a sorrowful stranger.
The smile seemed to make him feel better.
He remembered past kindnesses of a friend
and wrote him a thank-you letter.
The friend was so pleased with the thank-you
that he left a large tip after lunch.
The waitress, surprised by the size of the tip,
bet the whole thing on a hunch.
The next day she picked up her winnings,
and gave part to a man on the street.
The man on the street was grateful;
for two days he’d had nothing to eat.
After he finished his dinner,
he left for his small dingy room.
(He didn’t know at the moment
that he might be facing his doom.)
On the way he picked up a shivering puppy
and took him home to get warm.
The puppy was very grateful
to be in out of the storm.
That night the house caught on fire.
The puppy barked the alarm.
He barked ’til he woke the whole household
and saved everybody from harm.
One of the boys that he rescued
grew up to be President.
All this because of a simple smile
that hadn’t cost a cent.”

–Barbara Hauck, (age 13)

now that you’ve read it, what do you think? do you, like me, see the power behind a smile yet? if not, try it.

tomorrow, or today, put a smile on your face. smile at the stranger sitting across from you on the train or bus. smile at the person behind the wheel of the car next to you at the traffic light. smile at everyone you see. watch how many smiles you get back! smiling, like yawning, is contagious. when you smile at someone, usually they smile back. it feels good to be smiled at. when someone smiles at you, it’s almost as if they are giving you a silent approval. they’re acknowledging you and their response to seeing you is a smile. damn that feels good, don’t it?? well it’s the same for those you smile at. they feel good about having received your smile and sure enough, they give it back. a smile may seem so small but truly, it is one of the most returnable gifts. when you smile at someone, you’ve gifted them with your smile and so they gift you back their own. it’s pretty dope if you ask me. I’m a giver so I give smiles all day long and I get smiles back all day long. it doesn’t hurt that I think I have a really nice smile to boot but it doesn’t matter what type of smile you think you have, whether you think it’s awkward or goofy. it doesn’t matter. what matters is that you smile and share your smile with EVERYONE!

okay, so we’ve covered that. lets get biological on your ass. (yeah, SCIENCE! bitch) do you know that smiling triggers feel good chemicals in your brain? well it does! on the flip side, frowning triggers feel bad chemicals in your brain too. no one wants to feel bad. no one wakes up in the morning and says to themselves in the mirror, “Today I will frown and scowl at everyone I encounter. Today I will have a bad day and transmit this bad day to everyone!” (maybe there are people who wake up like that but lets ignore those bums right now and say they don’t exist, ok?) people prefer good days over bad and rightly so but do you know that you can pretty much guarantee that everyday will be a good day simply by smiling? you probably think I’m full of it but I’m serious. since smiling causes a chemical reaction in your brain that releases feel good chemicals into your system, the mere act of smiling will alter your mood towards the positive. when you feel good on the inside, you can’t help but feel good on the outside. when your inside and outside match, what else is there to feel bad about? when you feel good, you meet life’s challenges positively. there isn’t an obstacle or set back that you can’t overcome.

examine this:
we all have that one friend who is always upset or down and who always complains about how things never go right for them. the woe is me friend who just can’t figure out why things seem to always go awry in their lives. observe them. do they look worried? angry? do they always wear a frown? are their eyebrows forever furrowed? this friend, no matter how often you advise them, no matter what you do for them, they stay stuck in this eternal rut with no way out. no amount of council you give them will change this about them so as mean as this next thing may sound, my only recommendation to you is to STOP GIVING THEM YOUR ENERGY! you’re wasting it on someone who doesn’t know how easy it is to live happily and peacefully so just stop. instead, tell them to smile more. your words are of no use to them but if they simply smiled more, their own brain will have a bigger impact on them than anything you could ever say. say, “You know, you should smile more. you’ll feel better if you smile more.” shit, if you have to use more words than that, tell them about the chemical reaction smiling imposes on the body! (yeah, SCIENCE!!! bitch) then, if they start smiling and keep that smile there diligently, they won’t have any choice about how they feel because biology will have taken over. their lives will change without them even noticing and it will all be because of what??? a smile. “a simple smile that hasn’t cost a cent!”

so put that in your pipe and smoke it!


Complaining Challenge!!

challenge for any day

don’t complain. we complain about the stupidest shit sometimes. even this post is going to be a complaint about complaining.

and most of our complaining isn’t even audible!!!

think about it.

our minds are constantly going. racing even. it’s a difficult task to shut up the mind. if you really hear your mind, it’s always bitching.

you’re probably asking yourself, “hear my mind? WTF is this crazy bitch talking about???”

most of us don’t even realize we’re doing this because we’ve been doing this our entire thinking life but I have a task for you. check it:

wherever you are right now, close your eyes and focus on your breathing. when I say focus, I mean really focus. inhale slowly and exhale slowly. do this but really concentrate on it. you see, breathing is an involuntary action. our bodies just do it, we don’t have to think about it. it just does it. but when you focus your mind on it, you manage to shut it up for a few minutes, or seconds, if you’re lucky. while your doing this, hear! not externally but internally. I can bet you any amount of money that after a few minutes your mind will lose it’s focus on your breathing and start thinking about other shit. bills, the commute, what to wear, your weight, whatever. your mind can’t stay quiet for long (it can with practice but it’s a full time job at the start). now that your mind has started speaking again, really hear it. notice I said hear, and not listen. listening is much deeper than hearing. listening implies absorbing and I don’t want you to absorb what it’s saying so don’t listen. just hear it. now answer this next question:

what is your mind saying?

I can pretty much guarantee that it is negative. everyone I ask this to always says it’s negative.

“Joey’s teacher wants to have a sit-down. what’s that kid getting into now?”

“Moms not feeling well. gotta schedule her a doctors appointment. I hope she doesn’t need a specialist. will it be covered on our insurance?”

“Gotta get the oil changed in the car but I’m broke and my tires are bald.”

this is madness. our minds don’t shut up and all it’s doing is muddling our thinking and filling it with complaints and negativity.

I wish my mind was a person. I’d grab it by its shoulders and shake it until it shut up. I’d slap it and tell it to get a grip!!! (picture the line of ppl slapping the hysterical lady in the movie Airplane.) yeah. that’s what I’d do dammit! but I digress…

the point I’m trying to make here is that when we allow our mind to constantly speak unchecked, what it says is no good. before long, what it’s saying comes out of your mouth. you’ll find yourself criticizing, judging, but mostly COMPLAINING!

“it’s too cold.” “it’s too hot.” “I’m hungry but I don’t like that.” and the list goes on and on.

so I challenge you to stop complaining. this won’t be easy but it’s not as hard as it may seem. if you stop complaining, even for just one day, you’ll start to see things differently, and feel things differently! I promise.

so hear your mind, and negate its negativity with positivity.

when you step out of your home and it’s blistering cold out, instead of letting your mouth say what your mind is thinking, say the opposite.

for instance, personally, I abhor cold weather. I was born in the spring so my favorite seasons are spring and fall and summer is tolerable to me. winter is my worst enemy. all I do is complain about how cold it is and now that fall is well underway, I dread having to wear my coat, scarf, gloves, ugh. but I’m going to change this NOW! when I leave my house and it’s cold, my mind immediately starts to complain. I don’t even know why. it’s not like “it” feels the cold encased in my skull the way it is! LOL! so as soon as I hear it start its bitching, I will audibly say something along the lines of, “mmmmm! what a wonderfully crisp morning!” and be on my way. every times mind says something negative, I will negate it by audibly saying something positive.

so I ask you to take my challenge. just for today. stop complaining. find something positive to say out loud immediately when a negative thought starts up in your head. you can do it. don’t knock yourself when you catch yourself reverting to the negative thought patterns. this won’t be easy to do for 24 hours, but even if you manage this for a half an hour, you’ve accomplished something. you shut that fucker up for thirty minutes! pat yourself on the back and keep trying.

what’s so cool about this is that when you do this, your whole mood changes. you smile more, you’re happier, you’re more helpful to others, you become a ray of sunshine! that’s how you will be able to gauge whether or not you’ve reverted back to the negative thought pattern. ask yourself how you’re feeling. imagine what your face looks like. are you frowning? are you smiling? are your brows furrowed or relaxed? these are your signals. these are your signposts! by asking yourself these questions, you can determine what your mind is thinking without even actually hearing it. that might not make clear sense to you but remember, I’m just a regular person. I don’t have a PhD and I went to school to be an english teacher for crying out loud, not a therapist!! so I may not necessarily be explaining this to the best of my ability but bare with me and you’ll see and understand what I’m trying to say here. I promise!!!

think you’re up for the challenge? I bet you are but your stupid mind is saying to you right now that you can’t. that’s what it’s good at. being negative. shut it up again and say the opposite, “YES I CAN AND YES I WILL!”

no go! do it!! and if you’d be so kind, let me know how it works out.


this is my open letter to those I’ve hurt

I’ve never been a hurtful person. I never set out to hurt people for no reason. sure, there was about one year of junior high where I was a bully but that was after years of being bullied. otherwise, I’ve mostly tried to be kind and genuine to everyone I meet.

sometimes, I’ve failed.

that’s what this post is about.

this is my open letter to those I’ve hurt.

I may have lashed out to you over something you did or said but my reaction was emotional and perhaps angry and as a result, I may have hurt you. maybe at the moment I felt you deserved it but in hind sight I know I was just as wrong as you were.

I see now there is truly no justification for being hurtful and the only person responsible for hurting is the person causing the pain.

even if someone provokes you, you are always in control of your reaction to the provocation.

someone may call you a bitch, screw your mate, steal from you, or whatever nonsense and that may make you wanna lash out but it is at that moment that you become responsible.

you are responsible for your actions and your reactions, entirely.

I take responsibility now.

I am responsible.

so if I hurt you, for whatever reason, I’m sorry. I apologize, truly.

I know now how to control my emotions and how to control my reactions to things. that’s not to say I’m now a doormat. it’s just to say I’ve grown as a person and do not need to justify my actions towards anyone based on what they’ve done or not done for or to me.

I will not be the way I’ve been.

if you call me a bitch, I’ll say “Thanks and have a blessed day!”

I’ve learned to keep my frequency high so when I encounter people who are rumbling on a low frequency, they don’t affect me like they once did. I know as long as I maintain my frequency, I’ll not be the cause of hurt or pain to anyone.

so that is just one of my missions.

another is to forgive myself for the hurt I’ve caused.

so whether you reading this have felt pain or hurt caused by me, and don’t want to forgive me, that’s fine because I’ve already forgiven me. just try to remember, when you harbor resentment and anger and hurt towards someone, you’re only really hurting yourself.

so forgive me, for YOUR sake.

the Buddha once said, “Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

stop killing yourself.

forgive, forget, and learn to love again.

you don’t have to love me.

just love yourself.

when you truly love yourself, you can’t hate anyone else. love and forgiveness are such huge emotions that their vibrations shake out all negativity and leave no room for anything else. love and forgiveness take over and attract more good things like magnets.

so that’s my goal.

I love me.
I love who I’ve become.
I’m not the person I was yesterday and I’ll be even better tomorrow than I am today.

I forgive me.
I will no longer feel badly for hurting anyone in my past because I have forgiven myself.

I apologize.
I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you. I hope you can forgive me, for your sake.

I forgive you. I no longer feel angry or hurt by you or what you’ve done to me. I’ve moved on from those negative emotions and have replaced them with love and forgiveness.

you are forgiven.

you are loved.

Camp Vacamas

So today, while cracking cases, I came across an employer name that made me go back in time. The following is an email I sent to them when managed to compose myself long enough to write them.

“To Camp Vacamas

Back in 1989 to 1990, Camp Vacamas would go to PS.28 in Manhattan and pick up a bus load of us kids and take us to Camp Vacamas. I remember the experience vividly as it was one of the most enriching experiences I had ever had to date. I learned a lot and have often thought of those days fondly. I will forever be grateful for that experience.

At that time, my family and I were homeless and we lived from place to place. My mom would rent rooms and the four of us stayed there. It was hard. The greatest joy my brother and I experienced was going to camp there. We felt free from our hardships while we were there. We felt like children there, as opposed to how we felt at home which was mostly unhappy and hungry. My mother did the best she could for us but it was an extremely difficult time for all of us. In fact, when we were signed up to go to camp there, my mother had been hospitalized and was to remain in the hospital for several months. Needless to say, there were many tearful nights spent with family members who would have rather been doing anything else than to be taking care of my brother and I. My older sister was put in a group home for the duration because no one wanted to be responsible for her while my mom was ill. So yes, my brother and I escaped our dismal lives to Camp Vacamas on weekends and for a couple of weeks at the start of the summer. We also were lucky enough to go on a trip to Boston with the camp. I’ll never forget it.

Today, I am an investigator for the state of New York, a mother of a wonderfully bright 3 year old, and I am in a much better place than I was at 9 years old. I came across your camp’s contact information via a case I’m working on in which the person worked for your camp. It brought all those memories back to me and I must say, rather emotionally. I had to step away from my desk and cry a bit. Not out of sadness but out of gratitude. It’s funny the things we don’t think about for years and then one day they hit us and we become overwhelmed with emotion.

That said, I want to volunteer! I want to be of help to Camp Vacamas and the campers. I don’t know if your organization still offers free camping to under privileged kids like you did when I was a child but I want to be a part of this now that I am an adult with a child of my own.

Please, reach out to me. I can be reached via my email address or phone number, 718-XXX-XXXX. That’s my cell number. When I say that I want to volunteer, I mean it. Even if I have to use all of my vacation time to do so, I will. I’d much rather make a difference in the life of a child than go to the Bahamas or Florida or wherever. I mean, sure, we all would love to relax and not do anything during our vacation unless it is for pleasure but nothing would please me more than to be a part of an organization that helped me so much as a child. It was a short period of time but it was a great period of time. I’m grateful and I would love the opportunity to give back.

Thank you for reading this message. I hope it reaches you well. Thank you for what your organization did for me as a child.


So I received a response to my email and spoke to the director, a woman named Sandy who was there when I went there. She remembered my group and was overwhelmed when she read my email. She gave me the contact info for their program in the Bronx and I will soon be volunteering my time to kids just like me when I went there. I’ll even get to go to camp again!!! So excited! My daughter will get to go there too!

Pay it forward! I have this overwhelming sense of gratitude to express! No better way than to do it for the same people/organization that helped me as a child.

Thank you Universe!!!!

Thank You Universe

I just found $60 on the ground!! someone is gonna be pissed when they realize they lost it. last week I lost $20 but I didn't get mad. I always tell myself when I lose money that I lost it because whoever found it needed it more than me. I paid my lawyer more than half of my paycheck this past pay period and when I checked my account yesterday, I had overdrawn by $40! no worries because I have overdraft protection but still! I say that to clearly state how truly broke I am at the start of this week. I wouldn't have had money again until tomorrow when child support gets deposited and until Wednesday when payday rolls in again. dirt poor, living check to check but not stressing because all my needs are currently met!!! so I was just rolling with the punches as I usually do. chin up, at all times!!!! then I look down, and boom! three twenties laying on the ground at my feet! if THAT wasn't the UNIVERSE looking out for me, I don't know what is. so to the person that lost this money, thank you. please don't be upset. I really needed it! I hope you're not too much at a loss. your day is coming!!!

A post shared by mytchie mitch (@mytchiemitch) on