so today is the eve of the new year and I’m looking forward to all that this new year may bring. I have really gone through a lot this past year and sh!t if you go way back, since 2009.
my life took some pretty crazy twists and turns since then. I was faced with many life changing decisions.
for starters, I’ve learned who my friends were since 2009.
I used to be the type of person who ran with a clique. I had a posse. I couldn’t count all of my regular everyday friends on both hands. today, I can count them all on one hand with one or two fingers to spare. as I went through this, heart broken and disgruntled, I felt angry and defrauded.
how could I not know that the people I loved most were only haters in disguise!!??
how could I be so foolish?!
I despised myself for being duped for so long by people who I looked at as my sisters and brothers from other mothers.
oh well, this is life and it happens to the best of us.
I know this much is true:
the people who I’ve 86’d since 2009 were people who I was good to. these were people who I took care of and loved tenderly. these were people who I’d have walked a thousand miles barefoot through broken glass for. with that said, I can honestly say I was someone who benefitted them via my friendship with them and they lost me, not the other way around.
in other words, I won!
I got to walk away with my head held high because I never harmed them and was always the best person I could be to them. they’re who let me down and they’re the ones who have to live with it. I’m sure since then, they’ve found themselves in need of someone like me but looked around and found no one because like me, there exists no other.
this is not conceit I’m exhibiting. these are the facts as I see them.
what’s really funny is that I’m 100% sure that some of them read this blog in hopes of spying on me and seeing me fall. people like these rejoice in the misfortune of others and well, I’m thoroughly happy that the Universe has seen it fit to bless me with success after success because as they say, the best way to get even with your enemies is to be more successful than them.
of course, they aren’t the reason I strive to be successful. my beautiful daughter is. I know when she gets older that I will be a good role model. she’ll look at her mama and know that I busted my ass to get where I am and that she has all she has because I made it happen! she’ll grow up to be a strong and independent woman just like me and that will truly be the reward I’m looking for after all my struggles. I pray daily that God watch over her like He has done me. if He watches over her half as much as He did me, I know she’ll be ok in this life.
so as I take a moment to reflect on the last few years, I bid adieu to all my haters and wish them nothing but the best in life. I pray for blessings upon them and their children. I know you’re reading this and scowling but I smile genuinely and I impart to you the memory of my smile. and while your stomach turns and your throat fills with bile, I offer you my forgiveness. I forgive you for devaluing my friendship, for taking my kindness for weakness and taking advantage of my generosity. like me, you’ll never find another friend and that truly makes me sad for you. I’m sorry that you lost me. I hope 2013 brings you someone like me. I also hope that you become better people so you never treat another poor kind soul how you treated me.
I shed my old skin and fly into the new year like a butterfly. I am beautiful. I am majestic. I am unstoppable. as long as I hold onto my faith, and allow positivity to flow through me, into me and out of me, I KNOW that I have nothing to fear or worry about. my wants and needs are all met by the Most High Holy Creator of the Universe and all things therein. I am blessed.
happy new year 2013!!!
brushing off my shoulders, pimp style. I take my bow and exit stage left. it’s a new page. it’s a new act. this life is like a play and you are your life’s protagonist! play your role right!!! one day, your whole life will flash before your eyes. make sure you live a life worth watching!!! no shame!