two years ago today

two years ago today, the Lord in Heaven sent an angel to earth. at 4:30pm that angel decided she couldn’t wait to meet me. 46 minutes later she was laying on my chest. all wrinkly and blueish, covered in gook, screaming. she was hungry and latched on to me to drink God’s milk. then was whisked away to the nicu. she had jaundice. I cried because my angel was taken away. as soon as I could, I went to look for her. she looked so helpless, wires everywhere, little sunglasses on looking like a mini-Snooki in a tanning bed. her hair stood straight up, and was soft and wispy. the nurses didn’t want me to feed her and I cried. my world collapsing. I was blessed with food from heaven and they didn’t want me to give it to her. I fought tooth and nail until they relented. Melody fought too, rejecting what they gave her until my manna came to her. then she ate until she slept and woke to eat some more. 11 days. 11 days in the nicu and she was released. the Bronx became a better place with the addition of this little angel. I love her more than I love myself. for her, I’d do anything. ANYTHING!!! life took on new meaning. I became a mother and instantly, life changed. I had purpose. all my years of wandering without focus and God had planted a seed inside me that became my truest focal point. 731 days have passed since that beautiful Monday. the pain I felt bringing her here still a fresh memory. every tear, every stinging burning sensation, every scream, every push, every broken capillary in my cheeks from pushing, all worth it. to see her today, and be able to converse with her and answer her questions, pure joy. she’ll see something new and say, “wha’tha?” and I’ll explain. her laugh is like music from heaven. thank you heavenly creator! your blessing has been received and I will cherish her forever and a day and when that day passes, I’ll love her some more. thank you! my truest love.

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