to my heart

how dare you be so enraptured? I hate you for loving so deeply. how dare you after the hurt that you’ve felt? have you no memory of the pain inflicted upon you? upon us! what are you trying to do to me? do you like to see me longing and languishing? does it somehow please you to see your actions hurt me. god damn you for being so flippant yet dedicated. god damn you, you walking contradiction. you suck. I hate you. I hate you for loving. because you love so well. so deep. so real. I hate you for it because I suspect, I’ll end up hurting in the end. and you, you fickle thing, will simply love some one else while I’m left healing the scars and nursing the bruises that your free-loving ass got me. how dare you after we’ve been through so much? if I could, I’d rip you out of my chest and throw you in the gutter, let the rain water wash you into the sewer with the rats and the shit. that’s where you belong. not in my chest. beating. cheating. treating me like a punching bag when things don’t go your way. I hate you for loving you god damned heart. how dare you treat me like you do? I am a vessel. I am your transport. I serve to only move you from place to place, person to person. but you. you use me. you make me go through all this shit and then sit and laugh as the tears fall. god damn you bitch. I hate you heart. I hate you for loving. I love you for loving. but I think I hate you more than I love you because you’re such a selfish little bitch.

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