when I started this blog, I wanted the focus to be on good positive things. unfortunately life does not always comply and a great many mixed blessings have come to pass since I last posted. I’m going to start to write about them now. I’ll still try to post about positive things but I feel the need to just get all of this down.
for a good deal of time, I was in a terribly abusive relationship with a man who wound up also being the father of my most beautiful blessing;
I did what most women do in a situation such as this. I tried to make the relationship work for the child’s sake, but I finally gave up once and for all this past March, shortly before I posted my first post here. I guess when I started this blog, I just wanted to be positive and happy and not dwell or even mention the things going on in my life because I didn’t deem them such. I stopped writing when things in my life got pretty heavy.
things with my daughter’s father deteriorated severely and I moved back in with my mom, across the street from the home I shared with my daughter’s father briefly. despite the close proximity, he never came to see her or offer any type of financial assistance in regards to her basic necessities. me, being the proud person that I am, never asked him for anything. I just went about my business, taking care of my daughter and my mom, working, not even concerning myself with him at all. I didn’t want to be one of those warring “baby momma’s” always harassing the “baby daddy” for this or that. fuck him. if he didn’t want to do them because he should, I wasn’t going to force him.
then one day in June, I come home from work to find he’d gone to family court, filed for custody of our daughter and had had me served with a subpoena. I was pretty shocked considering how he had never taken good care of her when blessed with the opportunity, and it had been this many months since I had ended the relationship and he hadn’t helped me with our daughter at all since then. I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to try to play the good daddy role now and try to take her from me??? I guess I always saw it coming. the years I’d put up with his abuse should have forewarned me of how low he could stoop, but I guess part of me just hoped he would disappear and shrug off all responsibility over our daughter like so many other dead beat dads out there. anything, so I’d never have to deal with him again.
I didn’t really know what I was going to do. since being left to fend for my daughter and myself without his help for so long, I didn’t have any money. I couldn’t afford a lawyer but I knew if I was going to win this fight, I would need a lawyer. I didn’t know if he had one or not, but I knew I wouldn’t be walking into court unarmed. I didn’t know where I was going to get the money so I was pretty worried. I remember the rage I felt boiling inside of me. I paced my mom’s apartment, I smoked like five cigarettes back to back, and then I had an idea!
I had only been working at my current job for about a year. I was just a few weeks shy of my one year anniversary there but something told me to ask my boss for help. I wasn’t sure I’d get it but I knew it couldn’t hurt to ask. my boss is a young guy, about 9 months younger than me, but he’s incredibly smart and driven. I picked up the phone and called him, I started to tell him what was happening and he listened for a bit before cutting me off and saying, “Michelle, what do you need?”
I was stopped short, I had the words on my tongue but couldn’t spit them out. I swallowed hard, took a deep breath and finally I blurted out, “I need a lawyer.”
his response was immediate, short and final.
I exhaled hard. what a relief? but worry crept in me again and I followed with an uneasy, “But I don’t have any money for a lawyer.”
then, to drive what he had just said to me home, he says, “Did I make any mention of money? Don’t worry about this. You’ve done the right thing. I can tell you’re a good mom and you’re a good employee. I am glad you felt you could ask the company for help and we’re not going to turn our backs on an employee who needs help. Let me make some phone calls. Not only will we front you the retainer for your lawyer, but we will find you your lawyer, and if you run out of money, just ask for more.”
I almost cried! my worry, that had felt all consuming right after I read the subpoena and before dialing my boss, was gone. I thanked him profusely, and couldn’t find the words to express my gratitude.
before hanging up with me, he says something to me that made me feel like I was not alone in this battle, and really set me at ease. it was like he wanted me to know how personal he was taking this. he says,
“We’re going to make him pay!”
and so began my custody battle for my daughter.